Wo Ai Zhong Guo

Time is money (but only if you are a lao wai)

I've lost count of the number of times I have passed an accident scene where there's a cyclist sitting on the floor waiting for the police to arrive to witness the injustice they have just suffered at the hands of the motorist.  Often the bicycle will be lying on the ground close by, ideally with various personal items strewn across the scene and the cyclist will be trying his or her best to look like she's suffering a terrible injury.  In most cases it's not a scam, but having been knocked over, the cyclist will be hoping to come away with a bit of cash to compensate him or her for the "injuries" and to cover hospital expenses.

Richard Spencer who writes for The Telegraph recently posted this hilarious account of an incident involving himself (on his bicycle) and a pedestrian that he bumped into.  I say hilarious, but of course it's also a little annoying to think about what was a blatant attempt at extortion by a Chinese pedestrian who saw dollar signs as soon as he saw a lao wai (foreigner) approaching him on a bike and subsequently went to extraordinary lengths to ensure that he would be hit by the oncoming bicycle!

I myself have never knocked over a cyclist or pedestrian in China (or anywhere else I hasten to add) but I have scraped the side of a stationery car that was parked in a very narrow street and was very quickly asked to cough up a few hundred RMB to compensate the driver who should not have stopped there in the first place.  I almost wonder if that guy just parks there all day long waiting for unwitting motorists to pass by knowing full well that no car can pass without scraping the side of his car - hmmmm.

Oh, in my own case, after a quick phone call to a local friend for advice, I paid the guy a few hundred simply because the alternative would have been to waste 4-5 hours at a police station which I simply don't have time for, even if the other guy was (clearly) prepared to spend the entire day negotiating a settlement.

Someone once said to me that locals often will spend time to save money while foreigners here will often spend money to save themselves time and I guess that explains why when there's a foreigner involved, he nearly always ends up settling.

More On (Moron) Blockage

After my opening post on this site explaining how my original blog site has been blocked by the Chinese censor, I found that Pastey White Guy has posted on the same topic less than a week ago.  He echoes my own thoughts about the shit for brains Chinese mother f***ing morons who decide what we can and can't access here in China, but he does it in a much more polite way!

Why am I so pissed off?  Well apart from my own blog site (which I pay for annually and can't get a refund for) now being blocked, there are many sites that I would like to access for information that has absolutely no connection with China.  But I can't.

China really has opened up in recent years.  I've seen many of the old controls dismantled.  Foreigners for example, can pretty much live where they want now and are not restricted to designated approved locations like they used to be, but I can't help feeling it's a case of two steps forward and one step back when harmless sites (like Wikipedia) are unblocked, only to be blocked again a few weeks later.

Oh well, I supposed there's no point getting hot and bothered.  My time would be better spent writing to the people at my old blog site begging them to give me my money back!

I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt

I read with great amusement on 3 Quarks Daily about some research that found people often underestimate how attractive they are to the opposite sex.  The original article was from The Economist.  Purely in the name of science, I will be frequenting bars every night this week to see if it's true that I am gorgeous.  I'll post the results next week .... or maybe I won't!

Plug In

I was amused to find that many taxis in Shanghai have what can only be described as generously sized butt plugs attached to the dash board.  Now that's what I call service!

A New Home

I've been blogging over at Squarespace for over a year about my experiences in China, but a few weeks ago, my biggest fear was realised and my blog was blocked by the Chinese censor.  This isn't one guy sitting by a computer deciding what China's Netizens can and cannot read, but a full blown army of cyber police who are busy tracking net usage in China and finding new ways to deprive Chinese people of knowledge by denying access to selected websites.

Wikipedia for example is a fantastic educational site.  Users can look up almost anything and find a comprehensive explaination with links for those who want to know more.  It really is a great tool for expanding your knowledge on anything from Abraham Lincoln (the 16th president of the United States of America) to Terminator X, (the former DJ with rap group Public Enemy).  But sadly, the brainless, shit for brains Chinese censor decided that Wikipedia is unsuitable for Chinese people to read and is therefore blocked.  Nice one, thanks.

And so here I am at a new home while my old blog just wastes away in cyberspace.  I can't update it (except on rare trips outside of the mainland - fortunately, HK and Taiwan are still not covered by the Chinese - did I mention shit for brains - censors, so the first thing I do when I land in HK is catch up on all the blocked websites).

You'll have to excuse the foul langauge here too.  I am (or was) a mild mannered young man from England with all the typical English politeness you'd expect.  But that was years ago and I have since transformed into a moaning, bitching, ranting, angry blogger.  I love living here in the PRC (that's the People's Republic of China - yes, an American friend recently asked me what PRC stands for, hence the explanation is sadly necessary) and that needs to be made clear, but like many foreigners, I am frustrated by the little things that irriate and make China less advanced and modern that many of its citizens like to think.  This blog then is my outlet - therapy if you like - to share with others who may have similar experiences.  But it's not all bad and I also hope to share with the readers the little amusing anecdotes that pop up almost on a daily basis.

So, dear readers, please do not misunderstand, this is not a China bashing site.  If I was living back home in London I am sure I would find a long list of things to moan about as well.  But I am not living there, I'm living here, so this is what I will write about mostly.

Hopefully, there will be more here than just complaints.  I'll try to include amusing observations and stories that other expats will identify with and that will enlighten some overseas readers about what life is like here in the PRC (People's Republic of China - yes, an American friend recently asked me what PRC stands for, hence the explanation is sadly necessary!).

Okay folks, that's all for the introductions.  Check back here soon for more fun and games.